Mardi 20 janvier 2009 à 23:59

C'est une sorte de transe qui nous anime parfois.
Celle-ci fut forte et intense, palpable et jouissive.
Effrayante.

De retour de ballade, je l'ai relu.
Indescriptible comme je ne me souvenais plus de mes propres mots,
Comment ceux-ci m'ont sauvé, exorcisé.
Et j'ai souris tout du long.
Pas pour me moquer,
Pas pour cacher ma gène,
Pas à contre-coeur.

Je ne supprimerai jamais cet article, pour la simple et bonne raison que c'est le plus grand, le plus fou et le plus fort qu'il ne m'ai jamais été donné d'écrire.
Le meilleur aussi, sans l'ombre d'un doute.

Alors pour calmer quelques coeurs qui battent encore un peu vite,
Il me vient cette anecdote qui n'a rien d'anodine.

Pauline - qui ne manquera sûrement pas de lire ces mots quand elle le pourra,
Avait il y a un peu plus d'un an pour mission de retoucher mon avatar Cowblog,.
Elle avait placé sous le mur à ma gauche la phrase suivante :
"La vie ça peut juste être ça"

A l'époque j'avais refusé l'idée :
Pas mon trip, on voit rien, ch'uis pas un baboss et qu'en sais-je.
Sauf que Pauline, elle avait flairé un coup, peut-être sans le savoir.

Oui, la vie ça peut juste être s'adosser contre un mur, les mains dans les poches, les cheveux gras et honteusement courts, le visage boutonneux, tirant une tête que tout zoom vous déconseillera,
Terriblement cliché même,
S'en foutant d'être beau ou pas,
Au poignet une chaîne qui passera d'un bras à l'autre pour recueillir les perles que chaque princesse versera dessus pour ensuite revenir claquer contre le bois d'un violoncelle, qui plus qu'un instrument, deviendra un partenaire qui vit et chante avec vous.
Faire ce qu'on peut, rester humain, et accrocher le maximum de sourires sur la sale gueule de ses camarades après y avoir léché leurs larmes.
Je crois que "vivre" sous-entend "pour les autres",
Et qu'en bas du papier ou j'aurais pu marquer cette connerie, j'aurais ajouté en petit, écrit très rond,
"Et pour soi".
Ca n'a aucun sens ?
Plus rien n'aura donc de sens.
Ouais, vivre, c'est aussi boire, se défoncer, rire bêtement et un jour ou l'autre, partir.

Vivre, c'est peut-être juste regarder de biais, loin, et pas à ses pieds.

Alors j'suis sorti dans la rue, j'ai marché jusqu'aux Bancs des Souvenirs et j'ai vécu.
Pas longtemps, quelques minutes.
Et si on les savoure, quelques minutes,
C'est bien suffisant pour vivre.

Sur le retour, côte à côte, le silence et moi.
Il m'a confié qu'il se trouvait trop souvent interrompu, que ça l'rendait mélancolique des jours sereins.
Alors j'lui ai souris.
Et juste par ce sourire, il a compris que je ferai tout pour lui remonter le moral à l'avenir.

Alors aujourd'hui j'écris, j'enlace j'embrasse et je regarde,
Les yeux au loin.

Honoré, le silence est revenu,
Et il s'est réinstallé en moi.

Merci.

http://cyriel.cowblog.fr/images/IMG0160copie2.jpg

 

Par SpIrIt-IrOnIc le Samedi 24 janvier 2009 à 23:37
Touchée
Par en-faim-de-comtes le Mercredi 28 janvier 2009 à 21:33
B'swar :)
Juste parce que je viens de me faire un blog et que du coup je peux enfin t'poser un petit mot qui certes ne servira à rien si c'n'est d'assouvir ma pulsion/mon besoin ^^
Je suis ton blog depuis à peu près un an, tu venais de poster l'article "fureur et appaisement". J'avais eu la fleme de lire c'était trop long. Mais tes articles étaient tellement longs que j'me suis demandée ce que tu pouvais bien avoir à dire, alors j'me suis risquée à lire. J'ai finalement mangé et remangé toutes tes pages. J'avais limite la larme à l'oeil quand tu parlais d'arreter de partager tes écrits et quand j'ai vu *fermeture du blog*. Tu m'sors les mots d'la bouche. Je trouve dans tes articles ce que je cherche dans ma tete, parfois on parle pas exactement de la meme chose mais en changeant deux ou trois mots et quelques accords c'est exactement ca, tu m'aides à poser le smots qu'il faut sur mes pensées ou sentiments alors que tu sais meme pas que j'existe, je peux pas m'empecher à la fin de l'article de me crier "voila, c'est ca!" ou dans la journée me répéter machinalement une de tes phrases. C'est le genre de blog qu'on actualise toutes les 5min pour voir si tu as posté un nouvel article. T'as pas des sujets extraordinaires, mes tes mots et ta manière d'écrire changent tout, j'aimerai beaucoup avoir la meme plume que toi. C'est long mais ca en vaut le coup, tu parles pas pour rien dire, et ca m'fait du bien de pouvoir poser des mots sur mes petits riens qui trottent dans ma tete et qu'on sait pas toujours exprimer. C'est tellement facile pour toi et quand j'ai finis d'te lire j'me dis que pourtant c'est pas si compliqué... Ca m'fait du bien et j'espère vraiment que tu t'arretera pas.
Commentaire long et futile noyé dans un marais de niaiserie m'enfin, j't'avais prévenu :p. J'tenais vraiment à le dire :)
Par Respire le Jeudi 19 mars 2009 à 22:35
Chez moi ce sont les bracelet de perle fait en colo' qui frappent le bois de mon violoncelle. C'est sur c'est autre style que la chaine. Jolie texte, soit disant passant.

Bien à toi, Respire.
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